Advice to New Missionaries and their Mums

How ready is your missionary for the MTC experience…or a mission for that matter?

I just love being connected to so many missionary mums through the LDS Missionary Moms Email Group. I hope that you have taken the opportunity to join one of the many groups out there if you have a missionary preparing, or already serving.

Recently Betty Pearson of LDS Missionary Moms shared with us some advice from various Mission and MTC Presidents on how we can best prepare our missionaries for the field. More particularly, on preparing them to enter the MTC. These are people who see our missionaries coming and going on a regular basis. As a result they have highlighted the key things that may be lacking in some of our missionaries preparations. So here you have a jump start.

While I don’t wish to share word for word what Betty wrote, I have taken the key points from it all and compiled them here for mums and their missionaries.

There is some VERY important information here that will assist in making both yours and your missionaries experience more positive and uplifting. PLEASE share this with other missionary mums and families so that we can assist these noble young men and women to fulfill their callings in the best way possible.

What parents can do to help their missionary prepare:

1. Give them ‘separation from home and family’ experiences. If they don’t go to college prior to their mission, then find ways that will allow them to experience life and choices without your intervention. See my article ‘Helping Them Find Their Voice’
2. Let them consistently do their own laundry before they leave. The MTC is a new enough experience for them to handle. If they also have to learn how to do laundry there, then it makes it that much harder to focus on their religious and spiritual training.
3. Let them prepare meals at home before they leave. They may not have to do much of this on their mission, but be assured that they will have to do it at some stage.
4. Teach them basic cleaning skills and provide opportunities for them to perform these duties at home before they leave.
5. Teach them basic food hygiene habits. Having a son or daughter sick on a mission because they didn’t understand how to handle food safely can be distressing to any mother.
6. Provide them with some basic and easy recipes that they can use on their mission. See my ‘Food Friday’ meal suggestions. This can have future marital benefits too
7. Encourage them to exercise every day. A regular exercise regime is a big part of their mission routine. Best to get them used to it before they go.
8. Provide some kind of routine in the home so that they are prepared for the strict routines of a mission. Key to a successful mission is time-management and self discipline, preparing them beforehand for this is going mean they are far more prepared for a rigorous mission routine.
9. Remind your missionary that, if he/she is learning a new language, that they will learn that language most in the mission field and not in the MTC – so don’t stress if it all seems too hard.

In addition to the above things that parents can do to assist, there are some other ways that missionaries themselves can prepare:

Knowledge Preparation:

1. Memorise the 100 scripture mastery scriptures – know the keywords and the doctrine associated with each.
2. Read the Book of Mormon through – absolute must.
3. Be familiar with Preach My Gospel – at least read it through and understand its purpose. Attending a Mission Prep. class through Institute will help to familiarise the missionary with the doctrines it contains. Did you know that you can now get a pocket size copy of this?
4. Know how to look up and search the scriptures using the footnotes, topical guide and Bible dictionary of the scriptures.
5. Understand the culture of the mission or country they will be going to. They will not get any training for this in the MTC.

Experience Preparation:

1. Be a faithful Home Teacher or Visiting Teacher.
2. Complete YM Duty to God, Eagle Scout  or YW Personal Progress programs.
3. Complete the 4-year seminary program.
4. Spend time working with the local missionaries – tracting and teaching.
5. Serve and volunteer within the church programs and in the community. Allows the missionary to give of themselves freely and willingly.

Spiritual Preparation:

1. Nurture the desire to serve. Read Doctrine and Covenants 4
2. Study the scriptures daily with real intent and purpose.
3. Pray daily for the guidance of the spirit to build testimony and conviction.
4. Bear your testimony whenever possible. Your testimony will be the one thing that you will use daily on your mission. Get used to bearing it and make sure you understand what a pure testimony is.

The most common thing I hear from missionary mums and their missionaries is that their mission experience goes soooo… fast. Before they know it they are returning home. So for me, I think that the more a missionary is prepared before they go, the better the chance is that they are going to make the most of it for the short time they are out there.

For most of them, never in their lives will they again have such an opportunity for both personal growth and the influence in the lives of so many of the Lord’s children on earth. Preparation is key to the optimum success of both these things.

Some related links:

MTC - Missionary Training Center, Provo Utah – Take a virtual tour around the MTC, or just find out what it is all about.

An Army of Faith – Inside the MTC. Produced by KSL TV, here you will find a series of videos on what it is like to arrive at the MTC, live in the MTC and learn in the MTC. A must watch for every prospective missionary and their families.

Next time I will talk a bit about what our roles as parents are when our sons/daughters are leaving for service out in the field.

Cutting the Ties

As Elder ‘T’ stood to give his farewell talk just before entering the MTC, you would have been forgiven for thinking that he brought with him his own personal cheer squad. Sitting in the congregation were four of his friends, all sporting the same colour tie as him. These were just five of the 13 ties that Elder ‘T’s’ mum had made he and his friends while he was studying at BYU-I.

But this was not just a quirky display of solidarity for a newly called missionary.  For Susan Bever, it was the only way she could think to support her missionary son as he dedicated the next two years of his life to the Lord.

After losing her job, and with no means of a steady income, Susan determined to find a creative way to help support him. When discussing her situation with her sister one day, and knowing that her son was about to submit his mission papers, it was suggested that she give tie-making a go.

Having been a seamstress for much of her life, Susan felt confident that this could be the opportunity she was looking for. She declared, “I couldn’t make a financial commitment, because I didn’t have the income to make it… the purchase of a piece of fabric was about all I could do.”

Elder ‘T’, sporting a new tie, and ready to serve…

The term cutting the ties took on new meaning for Susan as she bid her son farewell. Since August 2010, when her son entered the Provo MTC, she has cut, sewn, and sent him at least 3 ties per month; and estimates that by the end of his mission he will have received close to 200 ties.

Not all of them end up around his neck tho’. Elder ‘T’ generously shares some with fellow missionaries, and many of his investigators. When this happens, Susan simply gets back to cutting and sewing some more.

But this is not the extent of her commitment. Susan is determined to share her tie-making talents both at home, and across the globe. She makes ties for many of the missionaries serving around the world from her own ward, as well as sharing them with missionaries serving near to where she lives. It is her way of showing support for not only her missionary son, but for dozens of other ‘s as they spread the gospel.

Recently, through the LDS Missionary Mom’s Email group, Susan offered to trace, cut out, and mail several tie patterns for any of the missionary mum’s who might like to sew a tie for their serving missionary. Each pattern was traced by hand, tailored to measure the individual missionary, and mailed at her own expense (in my case, sent half way around the world to New Zealand).

Since making those first few ties for her son and his friends, she, and her sister Lois, have started up an online tie making business.  “All Tyed Up” gives you an idea of  the extent of her tie-making skills. Susan also suggests that if the tie you are looking for is not there, then it is only a phone-call or email away.

Elder ‘T’ shares one of his favourite tie’s – 8 inches wide!

If you are interested in purchasing a tie from All Tyed Up, then pop on over to Susan’s website and scroll through the huge range she has displayed there. Orders cannot be made through the website, but if you email Susan with your order or questions, she can make arrangements from there.

Some interesting facts about ties:

1. Not all men are the same size and therefore can’t wear the same size tie – you have to make adjustments for both taller and shorter men. Susan has made a tie small enough for a child – a tiny 42” long, as well as a tie for a 7’7’’ tall man – a huge 78”.
2. Ties can come in different widths, according to your preference.  Susan makes ties to order, anything from 1 ½ “ wide through to 4 ½” wide.
3. Ties can be made with many types of fabrics including cotton, cotton-polyester blends, silk, satin, satin brocades, ultra suede, and denim – just about any material can be used.
4. The only type of tie she would encourage missionaries not to wear are character ties – Spiderman, Pokemon, Little Mermaid etc. But as for which colours not to wear, according to her missionary son, “If she makes it, I will wear it”.

Thank you Susan for allowing me to share your inspiring story. We wish you and your son all the best as he prepares to return home in August.

There is an assortment of ways that we can be missionaries or, at least, support the missionary effort. We are all blessed with different talents and abilities, and it is up to us to find those talents and use them in the unique way that only we can.  Susan found her unique way.

I wonder if any of you have had a similar experience with something that you are passionate about? Please share with us here what your passion is, and how you see it as an opportunity to support the missionary effort.

Mormons in the Spotlight

As most of you would agree, it’s not every day you can link into a global online newspaper and find a major story about a day in the life of an LDS missionary. Let’s face it; it’s hard enough for our boys and girls to get people to open doors to share their gospel message, let alone to have these same people bring this kind of story to their breakfast table.

But this week that’s exactly what I did. This week the New York Times, in their Education section, ran a 5-page spread titled ‘At Age 19, From Utah to Uganda’, that follows two LDS missionaries serving in Uganda.

Now, some of you may feel the hackles rise a bit at the mention of our missionaries and Uganda in the same sentence; bringing back memories of the recent satirical Broadway musical “The Book of Mormon”, depicting the follies of two Mormon missionaries in the wilds of that country. But before you discredit this article as riding on the back of this non-LDS production, I suggest it would be well worth reading.

I found the article to be very well balanced in its depiction of our missionaries. Indeed, it follows in some depth their preparation to serve, their training in the MTC, their incredible commitment to the work and maintains faith in their spiritual maturity.

At the same time it shows the human side of our boys in regards to their life before their missions, their struggles with separation from family and friends during, and the temptations that surround them whilst serving.

This article is most certainly timely when considering the current bid by Mitt Romney for the US Republican Presidential nomination. Romney’s rise to prominence has brought the church out of obscurity. As Josh Kron states, “Mormonism is basking in the mainstream spotlight” at the moment.

Up until now Mitt Romney has been low key about his Mormon roots, but with reports emerging that he is on the brink of being nominated,  and with some prominent evangelicals now supporting him, that will probably change.

So, whether it’s riding on the back of a popular musical, or even adding depth to current political events, this New York Times article has certainly given its many readers the opportunity to reflect on Mormon religious practices over their morning coffee. It may even help to open a few more doors to our hard working sons and daughters.

In this light it may be time for us to start talking about these same things with those of our friends and acquaintances who are not of our faith. Like Romney, maybe it’s time to step into that spotlight.

You call that an email?

10 easy ways to get your missionary to communicate…

I remember a friend telling me once how frustrated she was that her missionary son only wrote two sentences each week to the family. She felt robbed of a sense of his mission experience and feeling a part of the growth he was undergoing.

While it is important for those of us who are at home to get news from our missionary, the lack of information, from time to time, is probably a sign that your missionary is working very hard, is highly focused, and enjoying the experience.

However, if your missionary finds it hard to write more than a sentence or two every week, or is persistently missing those weekly emails, then there are some things that you can do to encourage a better flow of news and information.

Before listing those things I wish to highlight something that each of us need to remember. In the July 2003 Ensign, Dallas and Marjorie Bradford wrote,

“Once your missionary enters the MTC, everything you say and do should help him or her stay focused on the task and challenges ahead”.

I cannot stress this point more. A missionary’s number one purpose for being where they are is to do the work of the Lord. So all our communications with them should be limited to topics that allow them to maintain their focus. But I will talk more about this in another post…

In doing some research for this post I came across an article from the March 1989 Ensign, under ‘Random Sampler’, that suggested missionaries could purchase, “some loose-leaf paper about half the size of an Ensign page” and slip a piece of carbon paper between a sheet and their journal. Then, by writing in their journal each day, they could also include a copy of their daily journal entry with their weekly letter home.

Well, we have come a long way since then haven’t we?

So here are the 10 top suggestions on how to get your missionary to write more interesting and newsy emails each week. You can try one, or all of them:

1. Keep your emails simple. Don’t overload them with so much information that your missionary can’t work out where to start to reply to them.
2. At the end of each email to your missionary, list three specific questions you would like them to answer in their reply email. This is for two main reasons:
   1. Firstly, by separating the questions from the body of your email, it becomes apparent to your missionary what you most want to know about.
   2. Secondly, by putting them at the end of the email, your missionary will be more likely to remember to answer them.
3. Encourage them to keep a journal if they are not already doing it. Even if it is just a couple of sentences a day recording what they did.
4. Ask them to bring their journal with them the next time they write an email to you and share one thing they have recorded in it over the last week.
5. Ask them to attach at least two photos they have taken over that week and include a quick comment about each one.
6. Ask specific questions, such as:
   • Where did you work this week
   • Name two people you contacted, and what were their responses
   • What is their apartment like, or what do they see out their bedroom window.
7. Keep your emails brief so they have enough time to answer.
8. If you can’t get them to write weekly, then get a loose-leaf binder for them to write in as their journal. Then get them to send home some of the pages each month through the mail…that carbon paper idea is looking better every minute.………
9. …….
10. …….

Ok, so I didn’t make it to 10 as promised. But I am sure that there are some great ideas out there. PLEASE share them with us here.

What is it that you do to encourage your missionary to write more?

Carry neither purse, nor scrip…

Our missionary outside the MTC with her suitcase of Faith

It was almost 12 months ago that our family crammed into the family car and drove out to the airport to bid farewell to our daughter, the newest missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Preparing for that day involved, not only concerted spiritual readiness, but also foresight into what clothing needs she would have. Gone are the days when missionaries were expected to embark with, “…no purse, nor scrip, nor shoes…”(Luke 10:4)

For us, that preparation took on quite a unique nature.

While our missionary daughter was already well prepared with much of her personal clothing needs, coming from the fairly temperate climate of the pacific, she was not ready for the possible sub-zero weather conditions of mid-western USA.

As all mothers do, I panicked. My daughter was going to die from hypothermia on some quiet Utah street. Four months out from her departure, and from our humble abode in Sydney, Australia, I could not imagine how we were ever going to kit her out with enough warm clothes to avoid this outcome.

Typically, my daughter seemed to think that she could survive on what she had…

This was probably the first time I had to contemplate the principle of ‘faith’ as the mother of a missionary. But, desperate times require desperate measures…well that’s how I saw it anyway.

Coincidentally, my husband and I were heading out on a trip to General Conference in Salt Lake City, Utah just three weeks before she departed. So a plan was hatched…

With shopping list in hand, my spare time while over there was spent ticking off each item. With the help of my husband, and lots of size guessing, I managed to fill one middle size suitcase with winter-ready clothes. Part one of my plan was complete.

Part two required that faith I was fast acquiring…I left the suitcase there. That’s right, I didn’t take it home with me.

My daughter had a total of one day, upon arrival in Utah, to try the clothes on and make any exchanges or adjustments needed. How’s that for an exercise in faith? I say, “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:20).

I am pleased to report that I not only managed to please her with my design choices, she actually survived the freeze of her first winter in America.

I am sure many of you were faced with similar decisions when helping your missionary prepare for their adventure. I would love to hear your story here.