His Badge of Honor

Today, while sitting in sacrament meeting, I happened to glance over to where two of my children where sitting. The meeting was fabulous (particularly the speakers) , so I hadn’t planned on diverting my attention for too long. But what they were looking at caught my attention for longer than I expected.

It was my sons journal. I knew he had been keeping a journal – I had often seen it lying around the lounge room and in his bedroom – but it surprised me to see he had it at church. I’m still not sure why he had it there…but I noticed that he and his sister were looking at some photos towards the back.

Those images took me back to what seemed a lifetime ago. Well, actually it would have probably been less than 5 years ago, but since we had moved countries and settled into a new life in that time, it definitely felt like a lifetime ago.

For as long as I can remember my son has eagerly anticipated serving a mission. The year we brought home his first suit (at about age 5) it included a tiny little missionary badge declaring him to be a ‘Future Missionary’. He wore that badge (and that suit) for a long time. He was proud of it and what it represented; a kind of badge of honor towards his future.

But on further contemplation, I have realised there were many other events that have helped pave the way of his missionary path. Those photos represented one of them. They depicted a time when one missionary in particular made a lasting impression on my son.

The images drew me back to the day that this missionary and his companion – serving in our area – had made a connection with my 13 year old son. This missionary had recognised within him a desire to know what it takes to be a servant of the Lord. Through inspiration, they invited him to walk door to door with them, up our street, and share what it would be like.

I remember the fear I had at the time. Would this harm the utopian view of a young man who had dreams of striding from door to door in his crisp new suit, preaching the gospel to everyone he came in contact with? I tried mentally to go through all the people I knew in the street, determining whether they would present a positive or negative response. But unfortunately (or fortunately in this case) I didn’t know anyone beyond my neighbour next door.

Oh ye of little faith!

That opportunity was perfect for my son. It really didn’t matter what kind of response he got at the doors. The look of pride on his face in those photos said it all. He was living a dream and the missionary who stood beside him represented everything he wanted to be. That experience for my son helped him along the way.

I sit here now and reflect on both the glimpse I had in church today, and the experience my son had those few years ago. My conclusion is this…

While missionaries have a sacred duty to find those who seek for truth and teach them the true and everlasting gospel of Jesus Christ…they also have the ability to affect the lives of many young men and women who are preparing for this same service.

As a mother I am grateful for two young missionaries who came into my home (probably on just two or three occasions) and recognised a tiny flame of desire within a young man. It took a simple invitation to join them for just 1/2 hour, to cement in the mind of my son that this is what he needed to prepare for.

As my son is now in the final stages of preparation to serve his mission (in just over 12 months), I am grateful for their example – that they were inspired enough to lay down some bricks on the road to his future.

I only hope that as part of my sons missionary service, he may be the means of inspiring at least one other young man to do the same. I pray that he will be galvanized enough to identify a similar tiny flame burning within the heart of another future missionary.

Did They Doubt?

My daughter has been home from her mission for 5 months now. Believe it or not, she only just gave her homecoming report to the Stake High Council this past Sunday. No fault of anyone in particular, just life circumstances that prevented it happening sooner.

Anyway, as I reflect on the things that have happened since her arrival home, I {again} realise that life doesn’t always go the way we want, or expect, it. Whether it is challenges the Lord throws in our way to make us stronger, or Satan’s sinister subterfuge; things can derail us if we are not prepared.

Five months down the track and my daughter had expected to be well into the second year of her university studies; picking up where she left off prior to leaving for her mission. But as life would have it, that has not been possible. Instead she was obliged to delay those studies and seek full-time employment for a few months until the start of the new semester in July.

The job she was forced to take was actually very similar to the work she was doing on her mission…like many other missionaries, cold call selling seemed to be a natural progression for her. With similar frameworks of goal setting, door to door approaches, and prepared presentations, it is a familiar pattern to a returned missionary. The only difference being that the rewards are not nearly as good as those on a mission.

Knowing she still had over two months before returning to her studies, about 3 weeks ago I got a text from her while she was out working…

“Mum, I want to quit my job, what do you think?”

The ensuing conversation between the two of us consisted of self doubt on her part, and a need to bring support and encouragement to the situation on my part.

While on her mission, we rarely had the need for these kinds of conversations. For the most, she seemed to manage the few down times on her own, and relished and shared the up times with us.

No parent wants to hear those words of doubt from their child – whether on a mission or anytime else.

So how does a parent instill in their child a sense of purpose, of overcoming doubts and battling debilitating discouragement? Every missionary will undoubtedly have times when those small seeds of uncertainty arise and bloom; many battle with it weekly, some daily.

I won’t go into my own experiences here, but needless to say there was many a day on my mission when my companion and I would be riding our bikes home after a long and fruitless day and my tears surpassed in quantity the pouring rain falling all around me.

The support of family and friends is vital in time of doubt. Having only had one missionary daughter serve so far, I feel inadequate to address this topic as a whole. But I did want to raise awareness of it; especially to those new missionary mums, dad’s and families who may not have considered it.

I also want to share with you a great article in the Meridian Magazine by a father of 5 returned missionaries - Larry Barkduhl – who discusses this topic in detail. It’s a must read for anyone who has sent, or is sending, out a missionary.

LETTERS TO STRUGGLING MISSIONARIES

I am pleased to say that my daughter didn’t walk away from her job that day, but managed to stay the course. I would like to think that it was because of the multiple quotes on success/failure that I sent her that tipped the scales. But in reality I think it was her own sense of understanding, and drawing on her own experience as a missionary, that helped her through it.

But for what it’s worth, here are a couple of the quotes I sent her that day…

‘You have never failed until you give up’  (Wall plaque in my home as I grew up)

‘Don’t confuse psycho-babble for reality’ (I own this one)

‘Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm’ Winston Churchill

‘Your attitude determines your success’ Spoken, I’m sure, by many a prophet and apostle

‘The only limit to our realisation of tomorrow will be our doubts of today’ Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Brothers and Sisters in Arms…Lest We Forget

Re-posted in honor of those who have fallen so that we might have a better life….

Remembrance… (Photo credit: Rick Leche)

 

 

I am sitting watching the sun rise over the horizon. My husband and son are out at the dawn service for ANZAC Day, and I am feeling grateful for all those young men, and women, who have served our country. Those who have fallen, and those who live on to tell the story.

My grandfather served in the 1st World War, and fought in the trenches of France. My dad in the 2nd World War as a Pilot in the RAAF. My mum served in the army during WWII as well. I thank them and others who were selfless in their service.

For my friends who don’t know what ANZAC means, it stands for Australia, New Zealand Army Corps. Today, April 25th, marks the day we give thanks for those soldiers who have fought together for the freedom of our countries. Many men and women from both Australia and New Zealand have stood together to achieve the freedom we have today. For that I give thanks.

ODE OF REMEMBRANCE

They went with songs to the battle, they were young.
Straight of limb, true of eyes, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

LEST WE FORGET…

An Invitation

Welcome to all my new readers, and also to those who drop by now and then. With lots more missionaries preparing to serve, this kind of forum is going to be sought after more and more. So I would invite those who have visited here already to share it with your friends and families.

If you haven’t found MMM on facebook then please do as there is so much more offered there in the way of resources, videos and links. It’s very easy to do…

Just return to the Homepage of this blog and click the ‘Like’ button on the right hand side of the page under MMM on Facebook.

Or if you want to go directly to the Facebook page then my page can be found at…

MISSIONARY MUM’S MEETING PLACE FACEBOOK PAGE

Yesterday I shared a link to a blog that offers some ideas on how to organise your missionaries emails, letters and photos…

The Dying Notion of a Sister Missionary

In the kitchen, bare foot and pregnant, was how one missionary suggested my life would be better served. As a new missionary it shook me to my boots to think that my sacrifice was not as valid as the Elder’s standing next to me.  In my eyes the only difference between he and me was our gender (and certain priesthood responsibilities). But in a day where sister missionaries were the exception rather than the rule, it highlighted a misconception within church membership that suggested a divide.

But when I look at the statistics quoted recently – within two weeks of the October 6^th 2012 announcement there was a 471% jump in mission applications and more than half of those were women – it screams at me that the notion of sisters serving missions has come a long way.

I was delighted to read recently an article titled  ‘A Letter to Girls About Lady Missionaries’  - written by a returned lady missionary way back in 1972 (even before my time as a missionary). While it was on the whole a fair depiction of what it meant to be a missionary in the 70s, the thing that jumped out at me was the suggestion that a sister’s success was based more on how well groomed and presented she was than on what she could do to prepare herself spiritually to teach the saving ordinances of the Gospel. It threw me straight back to that gender comment by the Elder in my mission.

I’m confident we ‘ve come further along the scale of understanding today to be able to identify that there are far more pressing concerns for a missionary sister than how long her hair is, or whether or not she outwardly presents a perfect persona to the mission president after having ridden a motor cycle to an interview in the pouring rain.

Indeed, on further introspection, I realised that I had had similar comments tossed to me when I was determining whether, as a young 20 year old, a mission was the right thing for me. “Oh, a mission is only for those girls who can’t get married”, or “You’re too young and good looking to serve a mission”. As much as that last comment fed my ego, it fell short of allowing me to understand that the decision to serve a mission for a sister is based purely on spiritual enlightenment and inspiration from the Lord – nothing to do with age, marriageable potential or looks.

As the parents of three daughters my husband and I may have unwittingly reinforced this barefoot and pregnant notion. Suggesting to our girls during their teenage years that if they were not married by the age of 21 then we would be encouraging them to consider serving a mission. But let me say in my defence, it was spoken more in excitement on our part. As parents we had both experienced the joys of serving a mission and knew that such an event in their life would not only bless the lives of countless sons and daughters of God, but also bless the lives of each of our daughters. In my heart I really wanted them to taste the bitter/sweet fruits of missionary labour.

However, I’m not here to slander the deeds of the past – be them mine or anyone else’s – just to highlight the changes that have occurred.  History describes our progression as a people. It’s our progression that describes the things we have learnt along the way…

When my daughter announced she was preparing to serve a mission in 2010, much had changed in terms of attitudes and expectations.  Of course as parents we were over-joyed at her decision. But more importantly, amongst her friends and peers there was generally an overall sense of excitement and support; a recognition that this decision had come through sincere prayer and preparation on her part, and not because she had been ‘left on the shelf’.

In 2010, the words of one LDS returned missionary sister, when asked, ‘How is missionary preparation different for women than men?’ reveal the changes in thinking that have occurred in the last 40 years,

“I don’t know that preparation for a mission is much different. You have to be physically and spiritually strong, you have to know the gospel, you have to have a deeply rooted testimony, you have to have a desire to serve and share the gospel. Both young men and young women need all of these things.
–Wendi Condie, Montana Billings Mission

More recently, with the announcement of age changes, and new leadership roles for sister missionaries, prospective sister missionaries have greater flexibility of choice, and greater opportunity for input and service. It is wonderful to see that mission organization is fitting in more with the pattern of ward and stake councils. Sisters will now not only have the opportunity serve at an earlier age but also contribute to the success of the Lord’s work worldwide in a more focused and united way.

While I would change nothing about my experiences as a missionary, I welcome the dying notion of the sister missionary of the past. I think it opens the door to a wave of more focused missionaries and closes the divide of the past; missionaries – both male and female – who understand their role, are prepared spiritually to perform their labours wherever they serve, and who work in harmony to extend the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ to every one of His children on earth.

The Call of the Future

Do you feel it in the air? It’s thick with anticipation and excitement. At church, at home, lunching with friends, through email, phone and text, and of course all over Facebook. It’s the call of the future…Everyone is affected by it, so if you are not preparing now then it’s time to start.

Just this morning I read of several new missionary announcements on Facebook and received an email from a friend revealing her daughter’s call to the Tokyo, Japan Mission. This is a daily experience for me, as I am sure it is for you. It seems the call has gone out and the challenge has been accepted…on a mass scale.

It’s exciting!

In a previous post I talked about the qualities required of a missionary…Faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God (D&C 4:5). So today I want to add to that and suggest some ways that we can, as families, help prepare our young men and women develop those qualities and be able to answer the call of the future.

Parents, families and all in the church, have been summoned to participate as a joint effort. Elder Holland made it clear on October 6^th 2012 when he stated, “As part of the pre mission preparation, we are going to ask everyone to be working earlier and sooner…”

In our own home, as we prepare our 17-year-old son for this phase of his life, we have been searching out the most effective ways to equip him with the resources and attitudes necessary to leave in less than a year. Notice how I suggest here that it is ‘we’ and not just ‘he’ that is involved in this preparation.

With our daughter not long off her mission, we decided as a family to explore the Preach My Gospel manual in our FHE lessons. Following the model of the youth teaching curriculum (the model of the Saviour’s teaching), we take turns in presenting some of the gospel principles from the manual. I must admit it has been a struggle at times to get everyone involved…but fun. Playing the investigator and trying to come up with some interesting questions for the teacher is a highlight. But most of all it’s definitely helping to prepare our future missionary son.

Who is ‘everyone’?

If you feel you are exempt as a mother or father of very young children, then think again…remember what Elder Holland said? “…everyone to be working earlier and sooner…”

Today I read a great blog post by an amazing LDS mum, and I believe she struck upon gold while struggling with some choices about teaching her young children. In the process of decision-making she was prompted several times to explore Chapter 6 of Preach My Gospel,

“I wanted to teach them letters, study world cultures, geography, study music, art, history, numbers, and go on field trips.

“So ignored the prompting and delved back into my hunt for just the right educational curriculum. My feelings of unease increased and so I went back to my knees. Again, the same answer, “Chapter 6, Christ-like Attributes. Once a week on Family Home Evening isn’t enough, they need it every day.”

“But God, that chapter really isn’t designed for 4-year-olds how am I going to teach that? But I get the idea you want me to teach them virtues, right? Okay, I can do that.””

                                           –‘Moms Missionary Training Center’ - Women in the Scriptures

Richard G. Scott set forth the challenge when outlining the power of Preach My Gospel,

I encourage you to find out how this extraordinary resource can help in your missionary efforts, either as a parent preparing a child for a mission, a Church leader helping new converts, a member sharing the gospel, or an individual getting ready to serve.

                                    –April 2005 General Conference

Another mother suggested that we have all the resources at hand, but may not recognize it. Her recommendation was to use the principles taught in the For The Strength of Youth booklet…a great idea for our youth. For several years as our family grew we would spend 10 minutes each Monday night exploring and discussing a different section of this booklet. At the very beginning of the book a promise is given by the First Presidency,

“We promise that as you keep the covenants you have made and these standards, you will be blessed with the companionship of the Holy Ghost, your faith and testimony will grow stronger, and you will enjoy increasing happiness.”

                                        –For The Strength of Youth

Certainly nothing to be ignored…don’t we all hope and pray this for our children?

The new Sunday school and youth curriculum is a wonderful model for mum’s and dad’s to follow in Family Home Evenings and other learning sessions. If you haven’t checked out the ’Come Follow Me’ website, then it is a must. It includes ideas and methods of teaching that we can all use at home and at church.

Would it surprise you if I told you that parents are an important part of the success of this youth teaching program as it prepares them for missionary service? How much do you pattern your FHE lessons around the lessons they are having in Sunday School and Youth classes each month?

Then of course, for those young men and young women who are on threshold of their future, there is the inspired institute program of Mission Prep classes. It’s here that they will work together to practice and implement much of the missionary specific principles contained in the Preach My Gospel manual.

All the resources are there at our fingertips to help in getting these precious young men and women prepared for service. It’s now time for all of us to answer the call of the future…

Summer Break Over

Some of you may have noticed I’ve been MIA for a few weeks. I’ve had such a great relaxing break over our summer holidays that I wanted to give writing a rest. In that time my husband and I, along with our children, have spent some time with extended family in Australia. We had a much needed holiday on the beach for about 10 days, and we also did some renovation work on a property we own in Brisbane. The change of pace has been good, but with school going back this week it’s now time to focus on the new year and all that it has to offer.

Over the last few weeks I’ve also been exploring my feelings about this blog. While I love writing about missionary work – it’s something I feel passionate about – I also started it with the idea that I would make connections with like-minded mums and families. I’ve appreciated all the followers I have, and especially appreciated those who have taken the time to connect with me through either comments left here or through the Missionary Moms Email group. But (here comes the but) in the last few months it has occurred to me that there has been less and less contributions here by followers and visitors. I’m not sure why (maybe someone would like to share their thoughts on why…it’s ok, I’m thick skinned and open to any suggestions), but I can only surmise that…well, I’m not really sure what to surmise.

I know the information on this blog has helped many, and I know it will continue to help those missionary mums and families who have questions about the many facets of missionary work and what it’s like to support a missionary in the field. Indeed, with the huge wave of missionaries about to land on the shores of the earths 5 continents, I expect it is needed more than ever. So, I’m not about to abandon it completely, however, with the surmising I’ve done, and with other things developing in my life right now, I’m wondering if it’s better to slow down a bit and even re-asses the format that the information comes to you.

Any kind of feedback would be good. So please let me know if you have any thoughts on this. Some ideas I’ve had include making the blog more private, so visitors would feel more comfortable about sharing their thoughts, photos, or experiences – particularly in regards to their missionary. Lighten the tone of my writing, or share inspirational thoughts on missionary work from our leaders. Or maybe even change the look of the blog…any ideas or suggestions will definitely be taken on board.

I look forward to hearing from you. In the meantime, I will still be here, but maybe not quite as often as in the past.

The Crazy Things You Do When Your Missionary is Away…

The family was having a laugh tonight about my recently returned missionary daughter and how picky she is with her food. Growing up, none of my children were particularly fussy with their food. In fact in our house the normal practice was that you ate everything on your plate. For those who didn’t necessarily like something (like peas or beans etc) I would put just one or two of them on the plate so that they still had to eat them, but didn’t have to suffer through a huge helping and ultimately resent having to do so. I believed that if my children were able to have a taste for everything then when they ventured out into the world they could face anything in this life.

For the most part this theory has proven successful. However, just one daughter has managed to slowly determine that there are certain foods she will not eat. Never has she given a clear explanation why (certainly there have never been evident adverse health reactions,) but she is now labelled the ‘picky’ eater in the family. Unfazed by this label, she is actually proud that she has such discerning taste.

But what really gets me is that the food she doesn’t like is not what you would expect it to be. Spinach, broccoli, brussel sprouts, beets and liver have got to be at the top of the list (I note here that personally I enjoy all these foods and there is very little I cannot stomach). Not so with her, none of these items are on her list of ‘inedible’ foods.

One of the first things I asked her when she returned home was how she went with food she wouldn’t normally eat. She reported she ate everything on her plate every time she had a dinner date with members. Initially, I was relieved to hear this as I would be mortified if she had offended anyone. But further consideration led me to wonder why she can eat certain foods under pressure, but refuses to eat them in family situations…I’m yet to discover the reasoning behind this.

That aside, we were tonight reminiscing about our families need to find some way, while she was in the mission field, to experience what it would be like if our missionary daughter ate ‘normally’. So it was determined that on her birthday we would celebrate it with all the food she would not normally eat. The menu was decided, friends and family were invited, and a plan was put in place to make sure she was there to enjoy the celebrations. Of course she couldn’t be there in person, but through creative means we were able to make it appear like she was…I think we got away with it

For fear of offending the many families who so kindly fed my daughter on her mission, I’m reluctant to share what it is she won’t eat at home. But since she did eat everything on her plate while away, and absolutely none of it caused her any discomfort or ill health, I will share here some of the photos of the birthday party we threw for her. It was a great night and we had some real fun with it all.

The Forgotten Missionaries

I’ve been absent for a while because I am on holidays with family (loving every minute of the sun and surf here in Queensland, Australia). But just wanted to share something quickly with you.

For the last week I have been involved in a conversation with some other missionary mums about the many missionaries who don’t receive any gifts from home over the Christmas season. For example, here in the Brisbane Australia Mission, as off Monday this week, there were 45 elders and 12 sisters who had not received a gift through the mail. As a result, I am in the process of delivering 3 gifts to the local mission office here in Brisbane to be given to any missionaries who haven’t received one.

I know it’s rather late, but I would encourage all of you out there to do something similar if you are in a position to. There are many families who just don’t have the means to send their missionary something for Christmas. There are also missionaries who don’t have family to send them anything. So, if you are in the position to, contact your local mission office and ask if gifts are needed. I know it is very close to Christmas, but most missions have the ability to deliver gifts to their missionaries right up to the last minute.

Let’s not forget them…

I would also like to wish you all a wonderful christmas and an amazing new year. Lots of new things to discuss in 2013. I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts…

Ring, ring…why don’t you give me a call

MOTHER’S DAY!

Yep, and you know what that means….that long awaited phone call.

So here are my suggestions on some things you might want to include in on that conversation.

Believe me…you may think you have a grip on what you want to talk about, but when comes the voice on the other end, all thoughts flee and you become a babbling mess (well, maybe not for all of us, but it has been known to happen).

Here is that list. I posted this last Mother’s Day and at Christmas too…but always good to repost for those who may be new missionary mums and dads.

Downloadable version available at the end of this post…

_________________________________________________________________________

These suggestions are kindly shared by Betty Pearson, who hosts the LDS Missionary Moms Email Groups. If you have a missionary serving somewhere in the world and have not yet signed up for an email group, then you are truly missing out. Betty volunteers endless hours of her spare time to provide this free service, and there are literally thousands of missionary mums connecting every day because of it.

No matter where your missionary is serving in the world, there is an email group of missionary mums connected to his/her mission. The women in these groups are fantastic. I personally belong to two groups; one connected to the mission my daughter is serving in, and the other connected to the area I live in.

Now for that list…

This is certainly not an exhaustive list, I am sure there are many more ideas that can be added to it, but it is here merely to get you started. Also, don’t think that you have to ask all these questions in one sitting.

I would suggest that you have pen and paper on hand to record any significant responses your missionary may have.

The Church in Your Area:
How many members in your ward/branch?
What is the church building like?

The Area You Serve in:
What is the town like?
Rural, small town, small city, med. city, large city?
What does the area look like?
Flat? Rolling hills? A lot of trees?
How hot is it?
How cold is it?
How often does it rain?

About Your Companion:
How is your companion?
How long has he/she been out?
Is his/her family LDS?
Do they support him/her with letters?
Life member or convert?

Your Wellbeing:
Are you sleeping well?
How is the food?
What is the best food you’ve eaten?
What is the weirdest food you’ve eaten?
How many dinner appointments do you get?
What do you usually eat for breakfast?
Lunch?
How are your clothes?
Shoes?
Socks?
How are your feet?
Any problems?
Do you need more toothpaste?
Deodorant?
Vitamins?

Your Surroundings:
What is your apt like?
Is it in a big building?
Are your neighbors friendly or scared of you?
How far away is the Mission Office?
What do you see outside your window?

Other Missionaries You Serve With:
How many in your District?
Where are they from?
Who is the District Leader?
Zone Leader?
How often do you have Zone Conference?

Your P-day Routine:
What do you usually do on P-day?
What service do you do?
How often?

The Work:
Who are you teaching at the moment?
What do they do for work?
What are some of the questions they ask?
How much door knocking do you do in a week?
How much teaching do you do in a week?

Another suggestion by one of the mums from our email group was to ask the missionary to open their journal at a random date and start reading.

Well, I hope these questions have been helpful. You may even be able to come up with some more.

Enjoy the call with your missionary and I would love to hear from you how the experience went.

Download and print a PDF of these questions - Questions to Ask on Mothers Day Use the back of the page to record any special comments or information your missionary shares.